Losing Forever
by Donatello8696
Summary: -"There is no buildup to an event that changes your life." Plot inspired by Gayle Friesen's "Losing Forever."


**This is my first tragedy one-shot involving Sodapop and Ponyboy! It's written in second person, also doing that for the first time. So I hope it isn't too bad, and if I made some mistakes, please feel free to point them out, but not in a way that would make me feel bad, okay? I wrote this late Easter night when I was at my friends's house (bad for not spending Easter with my family XD) and I was bored enough to write this. I hope it sounds the way I intended it to sound (sad, depressing, etc.). My friend nearly cried over this! =D Review please!**

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There is no buildup to an event that changes your life. You don't see it coming. There's nothing that can prepare you for the unexpected fight as you walk home from the DX, being separated from the one you were supposed to protect, the desperate call of a name, a cry of pain, and then the pounding of feet as your opponents run away.

And the red liquid that's oozing out of your brother's chest.

"Pony!" you shout, and you run to where he is. His hand is clutching fiercely at his chest, bunching some of his shirt in his fist. It was red. You drop down next to him, ignoring the sharp pain in your knees. You gently grab him and pull him up onto your lap. He groans.

"Pony. No, no, no, no, Ponyboy," you say frantically as you try in vain to help him stop the blood flow. His breaths come out in short, choked gasps, occasionally letting out a small cough. Blood dribbles from his mouth. Ponyboy looks up at you with a great effort and opens his mouth to speak. Unable to form words, he closes it, and opens it back up to try again. You shake your head.

"No, don't try to talk, Pone. Don' waste your energy talking," you say, holding him a bit closer. He talks anyway.

"S...S-Soda," he whispers, his voice coming out in a slight wheeze.

"Shhh," you say, brushing back the hair from his forehead. Pony lets out a gurgled cough, and you know that he's choking on his own blood. Slowly, you move his head up and the blood drips slowly past his lips. Some falls onto your shirt.

You don't care.

Once his airway is cleared, Ponyboy says, "Th-They s-stabbed meh," he mumbles weakly, and your blood boils with rage at the Socs. "H-Hur-hurts," he says and winces.

You nod. "Yeah, Pony. I know, I know it hurts," you whisper. "But you're gonna be okay soon, 'kay? You're gonna get better." You hide the fact that you're trying to convince yourself as much as you're trying to convince him.

Ponyboy gives a slight weak shake of his head. "'M not gonna get b-better," he says. "M gonna d-die, So-Soda."

You feel the tears stinging at your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. You don't want to scare him.

Instead you get angry. "No," you say fiercely. "You... are _not_ gonna die, Pony. Don't you for one second think that you are!"

But the reality of what's happening finally gets to you, and you know that what you said was not true. The tears are falling involuntarily now, dripping onto Pony's pale face. His eyes shut tight in pain before he opens them slowly, revealing them foggy. Suddenly, Ponyboy's eyes widen and his breathing becomes faster.

"S-Soda? W-Whe-Where are you?" he gasps. You let out a quiet sob and reach for his hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

"I-I'm right here, Pony," you whisper thickly. "I'm right here." You grip his hand even tighter. Ponyboy let out a visible shiver.

"'M so c-cold, S-Soda."

Without another thought, you carefully pull your brother even closer and wrapped your arms around him, trying your best to keep him warm. "Shhh," you sooth, rocking him slowly and burying your face in his hair. "It's going to be okay, Pone. I'm here. I'm right here," you assure into his still blond hair. It was still bleached since the incident with Johnny and the church fire. Minutes passed without one saying anything, but it wasn't long before Ponyboy spoke again.

"S-Soda?"

"Yeah Pony?" you answer, continuing to rock him slowly. He grunts in pain and swallows before speaking again.

"'M-M tired..." he whimpers, moving closer to you. "Is... Is it okay if I sleep?"

You stop rocking him. The hand around your heart tightens. You know that in some way, Ponyboy was asking for approval. He wanted to know if it was okay with you.

Ponyboy was asking for your permission to die.

You fight back another sob and stroke his forehead with one hand, the other squeezing his hand tightly. You try to say something, but the lump in your throat has made that almost impossible. You swallow thickly and turn your head, pressing your lips against his temple. The sob you were trying to fight back escapes and more tears fall as you realize that Ponyboy doesn't have much time left. Ponyboy places his head onto your chest. You move your face away from his and look down at him. You run your fingers through his hair.

"Y-You want me to tell Darry?"

Ponyboy nods slightly. "Y-Yeah. Tell 'im... tell 'im I'll be ok-kay. That I l-love 'im, hear?" You nod. You're trembling something fierce, and you try to calm down as he says his next words.

"C-Can I sleep now?"

You nod again, and a loud sob leaves you. "Yeah," you gasp, hugging him as hard as you could without hurting him. "Yeah, Ponyboy. You-you can go to sleep. You can let go now, Pone."

He nods shortly and his breathing becomes more hitched. "Y-You and Darry..." he says, "... take care of each oth', 'kay? T-tell Two-Bit and Steve I l-love 'em. And tell Steve..." Ponyboy winces at the effort of talking so much. "... tell 'im I'll miss 'im... even if h-he was an ass-s." At this, he smiles weakly, faltering slightly. You let out a breath of laughter and whisper, "Yeah. I'll do that."

Ponyboy coughs slightly and you turn serious. "Stop talking, honey. Rest now. I'll watch over you."

He smiles again, this time barely managing. "N-No Soda," he whispers so quietly you have to lean down to hear. "This time... I'm gonna w-watch over – you."

You close your eyes tight and bite back a cry, lowering your head and pressing your cheek against Pony's temple. Pony grunts slightly, and leans his head closer to yours.

"I l-love you," he whispers.

"I love you, too, baby," you say almost inaudibly. But you know he heard you.

His breathing slows, becoming less and less frequent, until it stops. Then his pulse beats slower and slower...

And finally... he was gone, and his body grows limp in your arms.

Your breathing quickens and hitches. The tears cascade down your face faster, and the lump in your throat grows bigger. The cries you were trying to hold back for your brother's sake now come pouring out, the heart-breaking and gut-wrenching sobs shaking you. They're hurting you, racking through your body, but you continue, holding onto Ponyboy desperately as though your life depended on it. Eventually, past your sobs, you can hear someone calling out.

"Soda! Ponyboy! Sodapop!"

At first, you ignore it. It was too late for anyone to help now. Too late for Ponyboy.

But the calls come closer, clearer, until you recognize the voice. Steve.

You lift your head reluctantly from Ponyboy's, trembling so hard Ponyboy's body was shaking, and look up to answer Steve's call. You open your mouth, trying to form words, anything to make yourself known. But all that came out was a terrified, heart-stopping scream toward the heavens, and you shut your eyes tight. It seemed to echo throughout the entire town.

And then it was dead silent.

You close your mouth and grit your teeth, head throbbing. A fresh wave of tears run down your face and you lift Ponyboy up, at the same time lowering your face, and you press your forehead against his. Your insides clench as you feel how cold he is, as though confirmation if what had just happened really happened. You whimper your dead brother's name, and your body shakes with now silent sobs.

After a moment, you hear Steve again, this time closer than before. "Guys! I see 'em! They're over here!" There is a sudden rush of feet on asphalt, indicating more than one person running towards you, but you don't look up, and you don't move away from Ponyboy. A few seconds later, Steve speaks again.

"Soda?! Sodapop, you okay?" He's closer now, and you only find out how close when he drops down to his knees next to you.

"Sodapop, look at me. What's going on? Is Pony okay? Are you alright?" He asks too many questions, all of them echoing in your mind, and you don't answer any of them. Steve lays a hand on your shoulder. On instinct, you jerk away from his touch and snap, "Don't touch me!" Your voice breaks on the last word. Steve jumps back, shocked as he looks from you to Ponyboy. His eyes then widen in realization and dread.

Then everything becomes a a big jumbled mess after that. You vaquely remember Darry shouting, dropping next to you as he takes Ponyboy's face frantically in his hands, Two-Bit running God knows where, Steve sitting there, staring at Ponyboy with huge eyes... And then suddenly the dark alley you were in was filled with red and blue flashing lights, someone started to help you into the ambulence but you don't know who.

And then you wake up in the hospital, in the morning, with no recollection of what had happened the night before.

But Darry, who was sitting in your room the entire time, suddenly breaks, tears running down his face and the shock of it all was enough to make you remember.

You don't cry. You ran out of tears the night before. All you can do is lie there, watching your older brother do what he couldn't do last night.

Nothing could have prepared you for the death of a beloved brother last night, and nothing could possibly prepare you for the long life ahead without him.

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**Okay, I nearly cried myself when writing this! But I'm stuck on two decisions: should it be a one shot, or should I add more chapters to this, maybe show how Soda is dealing with his brother's death? Please review and tell me your thoughts!**


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